The Empowered Family Caregiver
February always seems to conjure images of love. I can’t
think of a better way to love someone than to help them feel empowered! When someone is empowered, they have the authority to do
something. They are stronger and more confident, especially in controlling
their own life and claiming their rights. Yes! This is what I want for
family caregivers!
Before we can feel empowered, we must take on the identities
that make up who we are. If you are caring for an elderly loved one,
identifying as a family caregiver is critical. Before you argue whether this
applies to you, let’s look at what being a family caregiver really is.
When does caregiving begin?
It can start when you make trips to your parent’s house to
help with laundry or to take them to an appointment. Perhaps you do some
shopping or pick up medications. Maybe you realize they can’t navigate
technology well and you end up booking appointments or getting them set up with
online banking. So many people doing these kinds of support for loved ones
don’t consider themselves a family caregiver. If you are responsible for any
aspect of care for an elderly loved one that simply wouldn’t get accomplished
without you, guess what, you’re a family caregiver.
A standard definition used in
the care industry for family caregiver
is anyone who cares for a loved one, often a family member or friend, that has
a chronic illness or disability and the care they provide is unpaid.
That broad definition leaves the door wide open for the variety of care tasks
that so many people provide for their loved ones today.
Caregiving can approach slowly, in increments, like above, and it can land in your lap with a jolt after a scary health crisis. Either way, your life changes. But you are not alone. There are an estimated 53 million people caring for loved ones with chronic illnesses and disabilities and that doesn’t include those that just didn’t think they fit that category. A growing awareness around what family caregiving truly is will bring these numbers up significantly.
You can join the #1of53million campaign to add your voice and hear those of your new tribe!
#1of53million
What are some of the common tasks family caregivers do?
What are some common challenges that family caregivers face?
● Not enough time. Family
caregivers spend on average 21+ hours a week on care tasks, with many reaching
40+ hours. That’s a new part-time or full-time job!
● Not enough money. Family
caregivers are making difficult decisions about their loved ones’ money and
their own. On average, family caregivers can spend up to $1000 a month out of
pocket on care needs. This is of their own cash! Meanwhile, there are hard
decisions about when mom and dad’s money may run out and what should happen
when that time comes.
● Balancing competing priorities. The majority of family caregivers today sit within The Sandwich Generation, a term more and more people are becoming accustomed to. These are
people who have dependent children and elderly parents that require their care,
sandwiching them in between two generations that are relying on their help.
Sandwich generationers are predominately employed individuals, meaning they are
juggling kids, a career, and parents all at the same time.
● Riding the Emotional Rollercoaster. The majority of caregivers combat feelings of stress,
overwhelm, helplessness, and loss of control. These all increase the risk of
caregiver depression.
● Inequity. Family
caregiving doesn’t impact all people the same. Women are hit harder with
caregiving responsibilities than men. Black women are impacted harder than white
women. And the Latinx community is impacted disproportionately more than other
communities in the U.S.
So, it’s incredibly important that you inherit the family
caregiver identity. When you add this to the list of roles and titles that add
up to make you YOU, your empowerment journey can begin. You can start down an
empowered path that involves connection with others and rights to resources
that support your role as a caregiver.
How should you start your journey as an Empowered Caregiver?
● Empower Yourself with Connection: Join your tribe!
Join in with the 53 million
others across the U.S. sharing in caregiving
experiences. Look for Family Caregiver groups where you can find connection and
friendship. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “I just feel so alone.”
Without purposeful steps to connect, caregiving is innately an isolating
experience.
Don’t let it be! Here are some great groups that exist to tackle
the challenge of caregiver isolation:
● Empower Yourself with Knowledge: Know the Medical Story.
What is your loved ones’
diagnosis/diagnoses? If not clear, what assessments need to occur so this can
be clearer?
What
does the diagnosis mean for the care you provide? What therapies are needed? Which can be performed
by you? Which require a professional caretaker?
How could care change with
progression of the diagnosis?
The family caregiver is often
the keeper of the health story. Here are some tools to help you keep that
story.
● Empower Yourself with Knowledge: Know Your Value.
Caregiving is important.
Family caregivers are holding up the foundation of long-term care in our
country! Don’t wave off how vital you are to your family and to the care
infrastructure overall. There are some amazing tools that exist to help you
realize what your care is worth.
- Calculate
your Caregiver Score - Being a family caregiver for a loved one is
an honor – it can also be really intense. What’s your Caregiver Intensity
Score?
- Calculate your Caregiver Pay - Find out what
your unpaid care work is worth.
● Empower Yourself with Knowledge: Talk About Finances and Legal Stuff.
- How much do care needs
cost right now?
- How much does it cost
to implement professional/additional care supports?
- When is it time to
think about Medicaid?
- How much money is
there and when might it run out?
- Are key documents in place that will carry the family through care changes?
● Empower Yourself with Resources: Say “YES” to help!
Resources ARE out there. There
are businesses, nonprofits, and agencies that exist with the sole purpose of
helping family caregivers care for their loved ones easier. You will have so
many questions. Each care situation is unique, and your challenges come with
your unique experience with care. Never assume you won’t be able to find
answers, they’re out there.
Here are some great places to start looking:
- Find your local Area Agency on Aging
- Caregiving.com - free resource site for care information.
- Life Care Planning Law Firm Association - a national network of holistic law practices that offer legal services, care coordination and advocacy services to help elderly clients and their families navigate the health care and long-term care maze.
- Smart Caregiving - one-on-one guidance for caregiving issues.
- Elder Care Solutions - use us to find financial solutions for elder care needs.
● Pull it All Together: Build your team!
Don’t try to care alone. There
are family members and friends you can leverage smartly to create a care team
so your load is that much lighter. While you are on a journey of empowered
caregiving, you have other priorities in your life. Show up for those as well.
To balance competing priorities best, we need to delegate. Here are some
strategies to start building your team:
- Create a Family Care Agreement
- Use the CircleOf App - CircleOf gives family caregivers the power to organize, collaborate, and ask for extra help.
- Create an account on Caringbridge - build a personal site to stay connected to family and friends during a health journey.
Last note. Play the long game!
I always have to remind our clients; we are dealing with
LONG-term care. Seniors today are living increasingly larger late chapters of
life and care could realistically last 10+ years. Think carefully about what
you need to take this journey in a sustainable way. What it looks like today
WILL change, most often becoming more intense in nature. So, what do you need
to stay empowered? Consider the following:
● What technologies exist to help with care?
- The ElliQ: the sidekick for healthier, happier aging.
- ATC Alert: remote patient monitoring to help seniors age in place safely.
- Caregiver Tech Tool Finder: Overwhelmed by all the technology options for caregivers? The Caregiver Tech Tool Finder from nonprofit VirginiaNavigator gives you independent, unbiased recommendations for the best caregiving apps, devices and other tech.
The ElliQ
ATC Alert
Caregiver Tech Tool
Elder Care Solutions saved our family many hours of stress and thousands of dollars out of pocket with their solution package. We highly recommend their services for your family!
We cannot thank Elder Care Solutions enough - total peace of mind and the best decision we could make for our parents!
Elder Care Solutions
All Rights Reserved. Elder Care Solutions, Inc.
227 S. Pollard St., Ste 209 Vinton Va 24149
227 S. Pollard St., Ste 209 Vinton Va 24149
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